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Monday, April 07, 2003
Can you hear me now?
Many a time, I have wondered why men and women communicate so differently. Being hardwired as polar opposites can be a blessing and a curse at the exact same moment. It never fails to amaze me, when I am let in on that foreign thought process, that it is so drastically different from my own. Not wrong, mind you, but different...in a good way. Sometimes.
I almost feel as if I am stuck in an Amelia Bedelia book at times. I have no doubt if I would ask my DH to dress the turkey, I would indeed find poultry decked out to the nines in my kitchen. Did he listen to what I said. Yep. Did he misunderstand anything? No, not really. His reasoning, of course, would be that he did exactly what I asked of him, so what am I upset over. lol The Man Mantra must be, 'Say what you mean, mean what you say'. Honestly, I think that the art of interpretation has to be sacrificed when the Y sperm burrows into the egg. lol
Any ladies in the house? If so, you know what I'm talking about when I say this. If you don't, you either are lying or you are way too mature to be reading my blog. :P I'll set the stage for you... You and your DH are having an arguement, in which your feelings get hurt or you get mad. The only thing you really want him to do is soothe you and comfort you. What you do instead is stomp off while declaring 'leave me alone'. This may or may not be accompanied by the girlfriend snap and neck thang. What does he do?! He freakin' LEAVES YOU ALONE! What?! Did he not hear what you were saying? You were obviously letting him know that he should indeed leave you alone for about 1 minute and 42 seconds before he follows you, offering a cup of tea, tissues and his embrace. Sheesh, clear as a bell if you ask me.
For the sake of fairness, and a dash of pity thrown in for good measure, I will point out that we women can be a little hard to figure out. How exactly does one know when a woman wants to be followed when she says that she wants to be left alone? It's all in the body language. Other women pick up on this. If you are getting together with your girlfriends and one of them shows up sniffling, tissue in hand, the proper thing to do would be to ask what is wrong? She of course will say 'nothing' or offer just the slightest bit of information. This is it...time for you to shine as a fellow woman! You say, 'Let's talk about it'. Yep, there it is, the magic words. Then, y'all sit around talking about whatever ails her, offer sympathy, suggestions, BTDTs, and a cup of tea, and find yourselves bonded a little bit more when the day is done. Guys, on the other hand, do not do this. Or at least that is what I have been led to believe anyhow. If a guy shows up all pissed off(which is usually his response to a martial spat or what have you)the other guys do not offer him tea and gab sessions about that very same thing that happened to them when they were dating Kelly in '94. They offer up a 'Man, that sucks' and a beer. The last cold one. After all, he is having a bad day and all.
What is really ironic to me, is that we still expect our spouses to understand us, even after we know all of this. To understand us without us having to have a 45 minute conversation to explain a 30 second sentence. And we think we understand them. Usually, they do not bother to correct us. That would involve heavy conversation, which, generally they want to avoid.
The amazing part of all this, is everything we learn along the way. I couldn't tell you how many times I have been forced to step out of my nice comfortable little box, to be able to relate to him. I found out that it is not so bad out there either. It is like seeing the same program on TV that you have watched over and over, but for the first time, there is sound accompanying the picture. It is if he hears the sound, and you see the picture, but when you are really meshing you both get the whole enchilada. I guess that it is those wonderful moments where you both can see the same picture, and hear the same words, that makes having a turkey with a bikini on worthwhile.
Note to Self: Different isn't always bad. Variety is the spice of life.
Many a time, I have wondered why men and women communicate so differently. Being hardwired as polar opposites can be a blessing and a curse at the exact same moment. It never fails to amaze me, when I am let in on that foreign thought process, that it is so drastically different from my own. Not wrong, mind you, but different...in a good way. Sometimes.
I almost feel as if I am stuck in an Amelia Bedelia book at times. I have no doubt if I would ask my DH to dress the turkey, I would indeed find poultry decked out to the nines in my kitchen. Did he listen to what I said. Yep. Did he misunderstand anything? No, not really. His reasoning, of course, would be that he did exactly what I asked of him, so what am I upset over. lol The Man Mantra must be, 'Say what you mean, mean what you say'. Honestly, I think that the art of interpretation has to be sacrificed when the Y sperm burrows into the egg. lol
Any ladies in the house? If so, you know what I'm talking about when I say this. If you don't, you either are lying or you are way too mature to be reading my blog. :P I'll set the stage for you... You and your DH are having an arguement, in which your feelings get hurt or you get mad. The only thing you really want him to do is soothe you and comfort you. What you do instead is stomp off while declaring 'leave me alone'. This may or may not be accompanied by the girlfriend snap and neck thang. What does he do?! He freakin' LEAVES YOU ALONE! What?! Did he not hear what you were saying? You were obviously letting him know that he should indeed leave you alone for about 1 minute and 42 seconds before he follows you, offering a cup of tea, tissues and his embrace. Sheesh, clear as a bell if you ask me.
For the sake of fairness, and a dash of pity thrown in for good measure, I will point out that we women can be a little hard to figure out. How exactly does one know when a woman wants to be followed when she says that she wants to be left alone? It's all in the body language. Other women pick up on this. If you are getting together with your girlfriends and one of them shows up sniffling, tissue in hand, the proper thing to do would be to ask what is wrong? She of course will say 'nothing' or offer just the slightest bit of information. This is it...time for you to shine as a fellow woman! You say, 'Let's talk about it'. Yep, there it is, the magic words. Then, y'all sit around talking about whatever ails her, offer sympathy, suggestions, BTDTs, and a cup of tea, and find yourselves bonded a little bit more when the day is done. Guys, on the other hand, do not do this. Or at least that is what I have been led to believe anyhow. If a guy shows up all pissed off(which is usually his response to a martial spat or what have you)the other guys do not offer him tea and gab sessions about that very same thing that happened to them when they were dating Kelly in '94. They offer up a 'Man, that sucks' and a beer. The last cold one. After all, he is having a bad day and all.
What is really ironic to me, is that we still expect our spouses to understand us, even after we know all of this. To understand us without us having to have a 45 minute conversation to explain a 30 second sentence. And we think we understand them. Usually, they do not bother to correct us. That would involve heavy conversation, which, generally they want to avoid.
The amazing part of all this, is everything we learn along the way. I couldn't tell you how many times I have been forced to step out of my nice comfortable little box, to be able to relate to him. I found out that it is not so bad out there either. It is like seeing the same program on TV that you have watched over and over, but for the first time, there is sound accompanying the picture. It is if he hears the sound, and you see the picture, but when you are really meshing you both get the whole enchilada. I guess that it is those wonderful moments where you both can see the same picture, and hear the same words, that makes having a turkey with a bikini on worthwhile.
Note to Self: Different isn't always bad. Variety is the spice of life.