Posted 1:08 AM by jessica

After months of pressure, I have finally caved, I'm blogging. Publically. I have been coerced and lured with promises that I will like this. That I'll like having myself exposed to the entire world wide web, for all to see. We'll see about that. The upside is that I get to ramble on and on, all the while, imagining that I am holding thousands, if not millions, captive with my witty self. I'm not big on preludes, so I'll get on with it already, and carry on as if I have been here for ages.

Something that I have been thinking about lately is social etiquette. More precisely, why we, as a whole, feel the need to be so accomodating to others at our own expense. Time and time again I find myself doing something that I have promised someone else I would do, even though I really do not want to do it. Or talking to someone for hours on end, when I have no real desire to hear anything it is that they have to say. I find myself investing so much in relationships that I really do not care to develop. All out of some twisted sense of obligation and social etiquette.

For some reason I can not seem to find it within myself to seperate myself from the situation if it will seem rude or otherwise not nice. I have spent hours listening to a few select people, who I have no emotional investment in, whine about their daily lives. I listen, I sympathize, I offer ideas, I offer information, I offer support... for what? Truth be told, I really do not enjoy these people's company. I do not care to foster a relationship with them. I get mad about having to hear all these complaints, complain about it myself, and then spend all day being mad about being manipulated into the situation to begin with. So at the end of the day, I have spent the majority of it wrapped up in someone who I regard with indifference at best. All for the sake of social graces.

In the end, the price I pay for not saying, "I am sorry that you are having a hard time, but, I just don't have the gumption to get involved with it today.", is time away from myself and my family. I compromise myself by becoming involved when I know full well that I really have no desire to. I compromise my family when I devote time to the 'crisis of the day' and let it get me all hot and bothered. All for the Nice Girl sticker.

Note to Self: I am nice, dammit, I don't need the sticker to prove it.




*Disclaimer: If you're reading this, it isn't about you. :P